Happy Five Months!

You are getting to be a big baby, not so much the tiny helpless infant I held in my arms 5 months ago. Your personality is starting to emerge and I love it. You are reaching for everything you can get your hands on. You want to drink from my glass, chew on the phone, or my spoon, or my computer. You love to play with your toys, but can get easily frustrated, if you can't get it in your month in just the exact right way. You often smile or giggle in your sleep and you love to play with Daddy. Hanging upside down, swinging high into the air and then down low, bouncing and singing. You still love your changing table, and when I take your shirt off, it often makes you laugh. When I hold you, sometimes you give me hugs, and it's one of the best things in the world. Since it's gotten nice outside, we like to just sit on the steps and watch the world go by. This time next year, you'll be running around the yard chasing those butterflies you can only watch now. You haven't been sleeping to well lately, and sometimes that makes me grumpy. But I hope you know, even though you might not understand for a while, that I will always love you. No matter what you do or don't do. There is nothing that will ever make me stop loving you.

Who is this baby?

The past couple of days have been rough. I don't know if it's just because he's still stick, and his ear is still hurting, or if it's because he's growing and changing and trying to reach new milestones, but I feel like I don't know this Aidan. I used to know exactly why he was crying and how to make it better. I could tell you when he was going to eat, and when he would nap and I knew exactly how to get him to sleep. Now, I have no idea why he cries. Naps only happen after much frustration and tears, sometimes from both of us. I can't nurse him in the living room anymore, especially if Nathan is here. Aidan gets so distracted, he'll take a few swallows, pop off, look around and then turn back to nurse. And if I take him into the bedroom, he cries thinking that he's missing out on something (at least, I imagine that's why he's crying).

He has been so cranky lately, I don't know what to do anymore to make him happy. And I especially hate not knowing why he's cranky. Is it his ear? Teeth? Just a new stage? I don't know. And I hate not having the answers.